Nerd Angel To The Rescue
by aLoggedInReader
Summary: Dean is the master of getting things done last minute, but it looks like this time he really won't get his schoolwork finished in time. Fortunately heaven is giving away free help and small miracles for a day! Crack-fic! Mary's alive, the Winchesters are a normal family and heaven's organized a little differently to what we're used to.


**Author's note**: Thanks a lot to Maknatuna and Larkafree for encouraging me to write and publish this!

I hope you enjoy! And no worries the next chapter for my baby archangel story will still be up tomorrow :-)

* * *

Dean was screwed and not in the 'Sir, your daughter and I really only studied chemistry' way that was at least pleasant before shit went down, either. No, it was more the 'I didn't do my important essay in time, because I thought my nerdy little brother would do it for me, because he enjoys shit like that, but then I forgot the books at school and he got annoyed and went out on me' kind of screwed.

To add to the misery, their father had blocked their internet connection ever since a little incident with a website called BustyAsianBeauties dot com that had for some reason that was a total mystery to Dean sent them an obscenely high bill for services that neither of the Winchester boys recalled signing up for. It was only fair that Sam was cut off from his Lord of the Rings message boards or whatever other geeky things he did on the internet too, though. He had gotten a good glimpse at the website whenever he had come into Dean's room without knocking, after all.

What it boiled down to was that the essay on the pantheon of ancient Greek gods was due the next day and Dean hadn't written a single word, knew nothing about the topic, had no books to copy passages from at random and had nothing to blackmail Sammy into doing the essay after all with.

Hey, everyone in the family knew that Dean wasn't a particularly good student. For the most part that was because he just didn't put any effort into it, though. His parents were somewhat content with knowing that their oldest son was a lot smarter than the grades he got suggested, but they had made very clear that they didn't want to see any Fs on his report card. He had managed to honor that wish this far and he wasn't going to change that in his last year!

It was only too bad that he really didn't know what to do about the situation without admitting that he had screwed up. Dean really didn't want to beg their father to let him have an internet connection for the evening. He'd only get a lecture on taking responsibility out of it, he was sure. He also didn't want to beg the teacher to give him a little more time. It wasn't that likely that he would get an extension on the deadline, anyway. Apparently, Mr. Smith took getting glued to his seat and never being able to prove that it was Dean who did it a little too personal.

Instead Dean did what a lot of desperate men throughout history had done and folded his hands and prayed.

* * *

"Incoming prayer!" Rachel announced, "Balthazar, you take it!"

"What? Why me again?" the blonde angel complained, "I've taken the last three and they were total and utter crap!"

The thing was that they only got the prayers that were technically doable. All the prayers that would require them to change the laws of nature or history itself went straight to voicemail, so to say. The doable things were mostly little favors that humans loved to request and most of those revolved around getting more money.

It was just their luck that Raphael had told Michael about the decline in prayers over the past thousand years – or something like that – and of course the big boss – well, second in command – had decided that this was a big issue and had decided that they had to run a marketing campaign to motivate more humans to pray again.

Balthazar was pretty sure that Gabriel had only been joking when he had suggested a 'Give us a prayer and you get your wish granted for free' day to get things up and running. Of course, Michael's sense of humor was nonexistent and he had taken the suggestion serious. To everyone's surprise he had thought it was a great idea, too.

This was why Balthazar and Rachel were stuck listening to prayers all day long and assigning other angels to go and make things happen. Of course, most people only got little signs, a push in the right direction, a little more luck than they usually had, but they had already gotten a few prayers saying thanks for the one thing or the other – sometimes even for things they really had had nothing to do with, but that happened every now and then – so they were doing something right here.

"I think you'll really like to listen to this one," Rachel stated, shaking her head in the way she always did when she thought one of the humans was exceptionally impertinent or stupid. Balthazar was immediately intrigued. Most of the time the things his sister thought were somewhat outrageous were the ones he thought were really amusing.

* * *

"Uhm… hey God… remember me? This is Dean Winchester and I last talked to you about that Nintendo for Christmas that you never gave me, by the way… so, dude, one might say that you owe me… oh wait… can I start from scratch? Hey God, this is Dean Winchester and I really need your help. I'm in a bit of a tricky situation right now, you know? Yeah, you probably already knew that… Anyway, so I have this essay to write and… uh… if I fail that'll make my parents very sad and my mom's one of your big fans, so really it wouldn't only be for me, if you decided to lend me a hand here! Amen."

* * *

Balthazar was laughing so hard that it nearly hurt. Yes, this was one of the best prayers he had heard all day long.

"Such impertinence," Rachel huffed, "Do you think anybody would notice if that one prayer got lost?"

Knowing how serious Michael was about this new PR gag of his and knowing how far up Michael's ass Raphael's head was it wasn't that hard to guess in how much trouble they were going to be if anyone found out about them deliberately losing a prayer. The Winchester kid surely wasn't worth the trouble. Also, Balthazar couldn't help thinking that the human was sort of a delightful fellow… a total moron for sure, but the kind that the angel could appreciate for their comedic value.

"I don't know, love. Michael will have our heads on a silver platter, if he finds out. The little bugger isn't worth the trouble and it isn't even the worst prayer we have answered today. It was among the top ten of the worst worded ones, but looking at what it was about, it could have been much worse," Balthazar replied before a sly smirk crossed his face "And I know just the angel for the job!"

* * *

Dean couldn't quite believe that he had just really tried to pray for homework help from heaven, but hey at least nobody actually knew that he had done it. Sammy would never let him hear the end of it, if he ever found out. His brother had a damn big mouth for a 13 year old, that was for sure!

A damn big mouth and a damn big brain that he wouldn't use to help his beloved big brother solve his damn essay problems! Damn little brothers!

"Dean Winchester," a deep voice suddenly boomed next to the teenager.

"Jesus!" Dean exclaimed and tried to run to the door, but his legs gave up on him. He couldn't do anything but scramble backward until his back was pressed against the wall and he was staring up at the dark-haired man with the trenchcoat and… were those wings?

"I am not Jesus," the angel replied with a puzzled expression. The common human depictions of Jesus didn't look anything like him, so he really couldn't understand how the teenager had come to the conclusion that he might be him.

"Yeah… uh… Jesus doesn't have wings, right?" Dean chuckled awkwardly, "They'd have never caught him, if he did, huh?"

The angel didn't look any less confused than before. Actually, the way he had started to tilt his head in addition to the puzzled expression made it look like he understood the situation even less than before. It made him look quite endearing as well, though.

"I am an angel of the Lord," the angel stated, putting the slightly imposing tone back into his voice, "And I have come to answer your prayer!"

"Dude, are you here to do my homework?" Dean sputtered, finally managing to get back to his feet and dusting off his pants, "If I had known that'd work, I'd have prayed for something bigger!"

The angel didn't look impressed by that display of human greed. He didn't look surprised either, though.

"Okay, okay, my desk is over there, why don't you take a seat and I tell you what there's to do?" Dean cleared his throat and quickly pinched himself hard when the angel turned his back to him for a moment. Yes, apparently this wasn't a dream, even though that seemed completely impossible. He thought he should have called his parents or the police or something like that, because a stranger had broken into his room… somehow. At the same time that stranger had a pair of completely black wings attached to his back that made slight movements whenever he breathed and moved perfectly in sync with the rest of his body, so they were most likely real. You didn't call the police on an angel, did you? Not to mention that there seemed to be hope that his essay would be written in time, after all.

"Do you have a name?" the teenager asked a moment after the angel had found a comfortable sitting position on his desk chair.

"Castiel," the angel answered, picking at the wrapper of the cheeseburger Dean had brought home for dinner and looking at the general mess on his desk with a disdainful expression.

"Okay, Castiel," the teenager stated, "I've got to write an essay on the Greek pantheon and it's got to be done by tomorrow morning."

No, saying it out loud didn't make the fact that a freaking angel was going to write his homework for him any less ridiculous. At least, the angel couldn't go and tell his teacher about it like one of the geeks of his class might have done.

Dean put some paper and a pen in front of Castiel and looked at the angel expectantly. He really hoped that God had sent him one of His nerdy angels, but the guy sure looked the part, so Dean was willing to believe that he had made a good catch with this one.

"You do know stuff about the Greek gods, right?" Dean asked after the angel didn't start to write for a few more seconds, "Come on, dude! Don't force me to promise my soul to the devil instead!"

The angel gave the teenager a glare that nearly made the human fear that he would smite him any second or – worse – leave without writing a single word, but instead Castiel took the pen and started the essay.

'Fucking finally!' Dean thought, but he'd keep his thoughts to himself this time. He didn't want to risk pushing the angel too far. To make sure that he wouldn't feel too tempted to throw stupid comments his way the teenager plopped down on his bed and just watched for a little while. He might have looked through the newest edition of Busty Asian Beauties he bought earlier that day, but he supposed that looking at pornography around an angel of the Lord would be crossing a line.

"Whatcha writing, Cas?" Dean asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. He had never enjoyed letting someone else write his homework less. With Sammy around he could at least play some music or annoy his brother just for the fun of it and when he made a deal with some of the nerds from his class he wasn't around when his homework was written, so he could do whatever he wanted.

"I have finished describing the twelve Olympians and now I am writing about the time when Poseidon was having a get-together at one of his pools and Prometheus made a bet with Zeus that he could create an animal more ridiculous than all animals Zeus had put on the world, but that would rule over them all, anyway," Castiel replied matter-of-factly, looking back at the teenager, even though he didn't stop writing for a second.

"So, Prometheus created Platypi and lost the bet when the suckers didn't subdue all other animals?" Dean guessed, lying on his bed on his stomach, propping his head up with his hands and looking back at the angel, fascinated.

"Prometheus created the first humans in Greece," Castiel replied, "And he won the bet."

Dean snorted and muttered something about speciesism – a term picked up from Sammy – as he continued to stare at the angel's back. How did the wings get to the outside of the trenchcoat, anyway? It didn't look like there were any holes in the coat. And why did an angel have that sort of post-sex hair? Maybe heaven wasn't all white, fluffy clouds and harp playing after all.

"So, do you guys always do this sort of thing? 'Cause I'm pretty sure there'll be math homework tomorrow," Dean grinned. Actually, having Castiel around more often might be nice. The angel seemed like an okay companion and judged by the speed with which he was writing he might be very useful for more essays and stuff… not to mention all the things he would know about things and stuff and other.

"It is a one time offer that was agreed on by the marketing department," Castiel answered mechanically, as if he had learned the words by heart and didn't really understand what they meant.

"Huh. Heaven has a marketing department, who'd have thought?" Dean mumbled, not quite sure if the angel was trying to pull his leg, but then again it didn't look like he was even trying to sound overly convincing or something, so he probably was being serious.

"So, there's no chance you'll just pop in again?" the teenager asked, rather disappointed. Even if it wasn't about homework, having an angel around might have been quite neat, after all.

Castiel finished writing when he ran out of paper to write on which he assumed was the sign that he had written enough and stood up, turning around to better look at the human.

Dean quickly got to his feet again and looked at the neatly written pages in awe. Yes, having the angel around more often could definitely be very practical!

"Come on, Cas. I mean, I've got to tell you how the teacher liked the essay at least, right?" the teenager rambled, trying to come up with a good reason why the angel had to pay him another visit, "I also owe you some thanks. How about… uh… I invite you to a cheeseburger?"

It would be only fair, after all. Sammy usually got something like that out of doing his brother's homework. The little nerd could be so damn materialistic at times!

Castiel tilted his head, thinking about the offer. He wasn't quite sure if he'd even like those cheeseburgers, but the scent clinging to the paper he had found on the human's desk earlier had been very pleasant.

"You can direct your prayers to me personally," the angel informed the teenager whose eyes lit up in a rather adorable way at the prospect.

"I will totally do that!" Dean promised. He still was a little disappointed when Castiel disappeared without saying good bye or anything alike.

* * *

"So, how did it go?" Balthazar asked with a grin as soon as Castiel arrived back in heaven.

"The 'client' seemed 'satisfied'," the dark-haired angel replied, using air quotes seemingly at random as he tried to use the terms he had heard his brothers and sisters use over the day.

The blonde angel cringed slightly. "Way to make us sound like an escort service, Cassy!"

"I shall be informed of the result of my work in a prayer," Castiel added, ignoring his brother's statement, but smiling slightly at the prospect of the human praying to him.

Balthazar just shrugged and went back to his own work. Their aim was to get more prayers and if the Winchester kid was going to pray more often because he wanted to tell Cas the one thing or the other, that was probably just what they intended. They still had a couple of hours left before they could finally stop listening to all prayers again, so they had no time to waste. Let Michael and Raphael figure out if their marketing plan had had the desired effects!

"Hey, Cassy. Do you want to help some old lady in Baltimore find her glasses?"

* * *

"This is a prayer for Castiel and Castiel alone. So, uh… this is Dean Winchester. Remember the essay you wrote for me? Greek gods and stuff? Got it back today and the stupid teacher said that it wasn't meant to be creative writing. Basically, he said you made a lot of shit up… But don't worry, there were enough facts in there for a D minus and that's enough to pass and that was all I wanted. Anyway, I got a cheeseburger with your name on it right here, so if you're free right now… uh… Amen."

Balthazar could laugh as much as he wanted, but Castiel would absolutely not risk losing the new customer he had only just acquired, so he hurried to follow the invitation. It helped that those cheeseburgers looked and smelled delicious… and that Dean's bright smile at seeing the angel was payment enough by itself.


End file.
